Trick Or Treat!

I have always had a problem figuring out when to speak up, when to shush, and how to say what I mean most effectively. Sometimes I deliberately ignore confrontation, holding my tounge when I'm unsure of how to say what I need to say. Other times I seem to fly off the handle, yelling personal insults or bringing up stuff that doesn't have anything to do with the issues at hand. I also avoid eye contact when I'm saying confrontational things. With this information, how should I handle other people's unruly and rude children? And how should I handle it when other mother's/caretakers are doing things I disapprove of?
We were trick-or-treating with The Boy dressed as Spiderman, complete with yellow golashes, a new haircut, a mask drawn on with dry erase marker, and excitement to match the occasion. The Baby was dressed as a monster, complete with a huge winter coat under his store-bought costume. My husband was carrying him. Two other kids, one as a firefighter Dalmatian and the other as a Frozen character told my boy, rudely, that they were going first to the house. And they almost pushed him out of the way. We let them go ahead of us. While they were at the door, they grabbed handfuls upon handfuls of candy. When they left, I think the guy at the door thought we were together. We had our boy say,
"Trick or treat!"
Then he took one, or two, and said,
"Thank you!"
We looked around to see who those rude kids belonged to, and there were three moms red-cupping it, meaning they brought their alcohol with them in red, plastic, Solo cups. They reeked of alcohol, didn't walk their kids to the door, and didn't prevent the candy-grabbing. Now that I'm writing this, it doesn't seem like such a big deal, but at the time, I was very annoyed. I was upset because I wasn't sure how to respond to the children, or if I should say something to their moms. And I didn't like seeing my boy miffed, and not really being able to do anything. Also, I'm thinking that the door-answerer at the house thought that we were all together.
I have some sad memories of awkward Halloweens; I probably dressed up and trick-or-treated for too many years. One year someone ran up behind and stole my bag. The neighbor boy, who I had a crush on, tried to run after him, and I was so embarrassed I wanted to forget all about it and pretend it never happened. I wish to prevent my boys from having memories such as that.